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I got to the cafe early, which is only because my friend and his friend were late. Usually I’m the late one. Recently on my way to a work meeting with some VIP, I remember thinking that the person who has to wait is the less powerful one, and in that particular case I wanted to be more powerful, so I tried being just a touch late, rushing in from my very busy life. I can’t remember if it worked. But mostly I think it’s obnoxious and selfish to be late. Once, many years ago, when I was stoned and late, like every time, I had a brunch date with my friend E and my then bf and I were running super late and E left me this message on my voicemail: “I’m waiting for you and you’re not here and it’s been forty-five minutes and FUCK YOU, ok? FUCK YOU.” E’s anger is really virtuosic.

I picked a table outside, nervous, though, that A wouldn’t approve of my seating area choice since it was right by the door. He’s very particular about restaurants – the food, the ordering, the everything. He’s really a top when it comes to dining experiences and mostly you just have to lie there and let him take control. It’s kind of a relief – who wants to be the one who makes the wrong choice about where to go eat – but sometimes I think it prevents me from seeking out places on my own. I was keeping my eye out for them when I saw her coming down the sidewalk with a friend. She struck me as very tall and was wearing a knit hat, a long sleeve cable knit sweater and dark pants and boots. Too many clothes for the warm afternoon. She had on sunglasses, too, so I wasn’t sure it was her but I’m pretty sure. She’s the one they all speculate(d? I haven’t kept up) is gay maybe. I couldn’t remember her name until I looked it up. I never watched that show, except for once, and yeah it was just about as bad as people said it was.

She was so skinny. I think it’s why she was wearing all of those clothes. I always get the sense that scary skinny women wear big, oversize clothes to hide how skinny they are. I might just be making that up. Does she work a lot, still? It seems like there are so many scary skinny women actresses I mean duh. Just tonight watching the Oscars I was shocked at Angelina and Rose Byrne. When Angelina made that pose it was like When Skeletons Attack. My sister commented on how unhealthy her hair looks from malnutrition. And I feel really sad about how skinny Rose Byrne is, especially since she was so beautiful and full bodied (i.e. normal) in that disaster Troy. Anyway K’s expression was haughty, circumspect, aloof. She’s very pretty, but spectral. It was such a brief passing. I thought her skin looked good. I was looking left when I first saw her and then she passed behind me with her friend and I waited a little bit, probably looking down, then looked to the right to watch her from behind as she continued her loping gait down the sidewalk. God that sweater I thought.